In the spring of 2010, I was married in Georgia to a man named James.
We had been married for nearly a decade, and I had grown accustomed to his warmth and love, but the ceremony was different.
My husband, who is not Christian, took the lead in the ceremony, holding me in his arms and asking me to pledge my commitment to God.
He also explained that we had to make a commitment to each other in all aspects of our lives.
We pledged to each others families, our children, our friends, our spouses, and our communities.
I asked him if he understood the meaning of the oath I had taken.
“Absolutely,” he said.
“Because God made us to love each other, and He will make us love one another forever.”
My husband was the perfect example of how marriage is supposed to be.
He’s the one who made me into the woman I am today.
He was the one I was supposed to marry.
James is not a Christian.
He is a human being.
But he has been my partner through the toughest times.
He understands the meaning and purpose of marriage.
He has faith in me and the meaning I’ve given him.
And as a result, I am very blessed.
In May, I married James again.
This time, I took him to church with me.
I told him I wanted to marry him.
“Do you know the word marriage?” he asked.
“Yes, of course I do,” I replied.
“The only way you can get married in the Bible is to agree to a covenant that is binding on both of you,” he explained.
“You agree that you will always love one other, no matter what.
That’s it.
I know you love me.”
It was the most amazing moment of my life.
It made me realize that God has made us both to love one each other.
And because God made me to love both of us, we both need to be in a covenant to love and serve one another in every way.
That is what marriage is all about.
The Bible gives us a clear and unequivocal definition of marriage in terms of its core purpose.
In Matthew 19:7-9, God commanded us to build “one house for the man and one house for woman.”
I have been married to James for 15 years, and every time we go out to eat together, we take turns sharing plates and sharing a meal.
James and I both live in the same house and both take a vow to love our spouses and one another as brothers and sisters.
But I have always loved him more than my husband.
He never once considered himself to be a follower of Jesus.
When we first met, we were both new to church.
I had come from a Christian background where I knew I had to be faithful and loyal to the Christian faith.
James knew that I could not be a good wife, a good mother, or a good father to my kids.
He knew that God gave me the gift of love, and that I needed to use it to help people.
We became best friends.
He spent countless hours with me praying and reading the Bible, and we became friends.
But even though we are a very close couple, I never once questioned whether James was a good Christian.
I knew he would never take me to court, that he was going to give me the best advice, and the most loving advice in the world.
I also knew that he knew the Bible was the only true source of truth.
That was a big lesson for me.
When I became pregnant with our second child, I knew that it was time to move on.
I decided to be honest with my husband about what was happening in our marriage and ask him if I could get married.
He told me I would not.
I didn’t want to marry a man who wasn’t my equal.
I wasn’t a Christian, he told me.
The next day, James called me into his home.
“I have a big decision to make, and it’s not for you to decide,” he told my husband, telling him he would have to make the decision himself.
He asked me to make it with a friend.
“It’s not a decision I can make on my own,” I said.
James was right.
I needed a friend to decide.
I was ready to make up my mind.
James made up his mind.
He and his wife had agreed that if I was going through the trouble of asking him to get married, I would accept the deal.
James asked me what I thought.
“What do you think about a marriage covenant that has to be made between two people?”
I replied, “That’s the deal.”
James said, “I will not be married to you until I get married to someone who is your equal.”
My heart sank.
James would be the first Christian to get a divorce.
But it was only a matter of time before I was told that the marriage covenant
